I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i've created a new STD.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
