If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
