i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
