From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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