why didn't you poke me back
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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