I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
