i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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