How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
