Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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