you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
