It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
