i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
