three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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