gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
