Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you had me at cake vodka
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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