Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
