she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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