Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
