so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
