I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I love having hate sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
