Your tits are I can't wait for
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
