i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
this is an emotional support booty call
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
