I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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