It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
