I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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