we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
