Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
