i just had sex bonerless
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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