So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
