brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
