Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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