Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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