did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
