You really coming over, don't trick.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
