Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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