Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
