is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
