So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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