My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
