i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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