and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
