He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
