The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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