She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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