You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
