So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
