And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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