Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
