I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
