Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
