Sry I called you an 8
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
