Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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