I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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