I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
