You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dick very happy bro
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
