TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
