We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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