Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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