I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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