He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
