I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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