i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
