I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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